I'm worried

kirk's new mayan worry dolls lupe & carina help him through a negative thought pattern. but what happens when a worry doll starts to worry? music by the host and his mayan worry dolls.

*watch on youtube*

#anxiety #worry #psychology #musicproduction #comedy #parody

viva la vida imports
show links

Transcript

I’M WORRIED

What’s up everybody? 

Today is Tuesday, September 14th, 2021. 

This is A TALK IN THE ATTIC, which means I’m your host, Kirk Ross.

Thanks for tuning into this, our one-hundred-and-forty-sixth episode so far. 

A hundred and forty six episodes? Is that too many?

Does anybody really need that many shows from one single source? 

And if they do, then am I the man for the job?

Wait, is it OK for me to even use the phrase, “man for the job”? Doesn’t that kind of imply that the job in question is available only to men? 

Am I sexist? 

Is that why most of my interviews guests have been males? 

Sometimes I worry that those SI Swimsuit Edition posters in my room back in junior high affected my view of the value of the divine feminine. 

Sure, they’re both massive bosses in the entertainment industry now, but back in 1996, Tyra Banks and Heidi Klum were just…HOT…

And speaking of HOT, I’m feeling a little sweaty here. I hope I’m not coming down with a fever or something. Probably the Delta Variant. 

Speaking of COVID, what in the F is going on? Will we ever see another day without mask and vaccine arguments dominating the national conversation? 

I worry about the kids. I worry about young girls in Texas who are seeing firsthand that The Handmaid’s Tale is less a work of fiction and more a cautionary tale. 

I worry about my father-in-law Mark, who is awaiting major heart surgery. And I worry about my friend’s infant son, Ethan, who just underwent surgery. 

I worry about Nunzio, our pug, who we had to rush to the 24/7 PET EMERGENCY Sunday night. I worry about how much that bill will cost. 

And how much everything will cost. I worry about consumerism and how I’m still very much participating in the MORE-MORE-MORE mentality that’s led us here. 

Then I worry about the future of the planet. Rising temperatures and dying coral reef. 

I worry about the Bears in California, who wildlife groups had to AIRLIFT water to last month because of the terrible droughts. 

I worry about the Bears in Chicago, who will still probably beat the Detroit Lions in a few weeks. I worry that every team will beat the Detroit Lions this year. 

I worry about our legal system, and how it tilts to those in power far too often. Which makes me worry that my wife Jessica’s unrelenting fight for equality in the courts will fail to move the needle in any meaningful way. 

I’m worried. I am. I’m really worried. 

HOLA, KIRK. MY NAME IS GUADALUPE, YOU CAN CALL ME LUPE. THIS IS MI HERMANA CARINA. (HOLA)

Hi Lupe. Hi Carina. To what do I owe the pleasure? 

WELL, AS YOU REMEMBER, WE’RE THE TWO MAYAN WORRY DOLLS THAT YOU BOUGHT THIS WEEKEND.

Oh, right, the two worry dolls we purchased from that awesome store in Eastern Market in Detroit. What was the name of that store again?

WHY, VIVA LA VIDA IMPORTS, OF COURSE! (IT’S A BEAUTIFUL, MEXICAN-OWNED FAIR TRADE STORE THAT SOURCES ALL OF THEIR GOODS FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY BACK HOME…

Sorry, Carina, I couldn’t help but notice that you…

  (…YOU CAN CHECK OUT VIVA LA VIDA IMPORTS ON INSTAGRAM BY CLICKING THE LINK IN THE SHOW NOTES…)

I’m sorry, are you taking over my show with ads? I don’t do ads - not real ones anyway!

AYE, DIOS MIO! NOW HE’S GONNA WORRY…

…about my ad strategy on the show. If I’m putting so much time and energy into this, shouldn’t I make some money from it? 

(I THOUGHT YOU HAD A PATREON ACCOUNT?)

I do, and I appreciate the roughly 10 patrons I have there, I really do, but that low number worries me a little too. 

I worry that I’m not that good at this; maybe the low numbers on Patreon are trying to telling me that.

HOLD ON NOW…

While we’re on that subject, (NO NO NO) what’s even the point of all….

WORRY DOLL SONG