A Talk in the Attic
Expect the unexpected in this one-man variety show hosted by Kirk Ross from his studio in Grand Rapids, MI.
A Talk in the Attic
TRUMP INTERVIEW
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Kirk's live interview with Donald Trump from Trump National Golf Course in Bedminster, NJ. Parody / satire... all in good fun. **WATCH ON YOUTUBE**
What's up everybody? Today is Wednesday, October 18th, 2023. This is a talk in the attic, which of course means I'm your host Kirk Ross. I'm nervous today. And I'm nervous because we've got a very powerful, very polarizing figure here sitting down with me, live from his private golf course in Bedminster, New Jersey. Sitting down with former president Donald J. Trump. Welcome to the show, Don.
SPEAKER_01Thank you.
SPEAKER_00Do you like it when people call you Don? No, I don't really. All right, Don, I want to get right down to it today. I'm not going to pull any punches. Last week, in a rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma, you ranted against programs, podcasts like A Talk in the Attic, saying that podcasts like this one that do not have defined number of weeks or number of months to the season are just they're ruining the country, I think you said.
SPEAKER_01They're destroying our country.
SPEAKER_00You went on to say, you know, why would season one have 90 some episodes and season two had 50 some, and then we've kind of been tailing off. And you're you're basically saying that we need to come to a set length of a season. And I guess I'm just wondering, you know, if you were running a talk in the attic, what would you do?
SPEAKER_01Don't ask me about what I would do. A little bit of a long answer. I hope you have time. We're going to have people come together on this issue. They're going to determine the time because nobody wants to see five, six, seven, eight, nine months. What's going to happen is you're going to come up with a number of weeks or months. You're going to come up with a number that's going to make people happy. People are starting to think of 15 weeks. That seems to be a number that people are talking about. The number of weeks is much more important. But something will happen with the number of weeks.
SPEAKER_00What what exactly is something?
SPEAKER_01Look, something is going to happen that's going to be good for everybody. And that's what I'm I'm almost like a mediator in this case.
SPEAKER_00Well, let me stop you right there because you said you hated a talk in the attic.
SPEAKER_01No. And you know that. You're terrible when you say this. You're off to a bad start because what I said is very simple.
SPEAKER_00Well, let's move on.
SPEAKER_01Why do why do you say give me a horrible question and then you don't let me answer it? You're off to a bad start. I'm telling you.
SPEAKER_00I want to try something with you. You know, one of the most amazing parts about seeing you interview is how you're able to really take any subject and turn it into kind of what I would say is a brag fest. Okay? Fair to say? Yeah. Here's the exercise. The exercise, Mr. President. Can I give you a topic and then you proceed to talk about that topic without making it all about you and bragging about your accomplishments?
SPEAKER_01Probably. Uh you know, look.
SPEAKER_00All right, so I'm just gonna pick one out of thin air. Let's talk about Nikki Haley.
SPEAKER_01Uh Nikki Haley has nothing to do with this. Very nice woman. Some people like that, I I would say. But she left office. She said very strongly, I will never run. He was a great president. And then in some cases, said the greatest president in my lifetime, in one case said the pres greatest president ever. Now she's running.
SPEAKER_00All right, I'm gonna stop you there, Mr. President, because you did get a little bit braggy uh pretty quickly there. And I know that we, you know, the point of the exercise.
SPEAKER_01You know, you say something and then you want to go into the next subject. Who I happen to be a really smart person.
SPEAKER_00Okay, moving on. Moving on. I want to keep this about a talk in the attic. You know, we have limited time together, you're a brilliant mind. Um what what can I do to get my listenership up? You know, my numbers are pretty much where they've been for the last couple of years, and I appreciate those listeners and viewers. But what what you know, if you were in charge, Don, where where do you think these numbers could could go?
SPEAKER_01I think the number is gonna be 15 million people by the time you end this. Uh by the end of this year, I think the real number is gonna be 15 million people. They come from prisons, they come from mental institutions, insane asylums. They say, sir, please don't use that term, but it's true. Uh they're terrorists at a level. Well, I think if you're a sad situation. I mean, nobody should be happy about this. I'm not happy about it. Nobody is.
SPEAKER_00And what type of guests would you want to have on the show?
SPEAKER_01Firemen, policemen, accountants, even lawyers.
SPEAKER_00So I've been working on merchandise, uh better known as merch. I know you're all too familiar with that. And I'm having a hard time getting, frankly, just moving the stuff. You know, I don't know, do you think the pricing is too high, or do you what do you think?
SPEAKER_01The one who drove up the prices was Biden. I'd like to lower them a little bit if we could, but what I want to do is we have to get some income coming in, and we had to keep this this beautiful thing going.
SPEAKER_00You've been called the great predictor of markets.
SPEAKER_01I predicted a lot of things, frankly. You know, they say Trump was right about everything.
SPEAKER_00So with inflation happening, prices are going up, my merch is uh still a little too high, is what it sounds like. Uh what one factor in the economy or what one price in the economy do you think is affecting you the most?
SPEAKER_01Bacon is up five times.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I see. Big bacon guy. Big bacon guy. Did you listen to my episode with Todd Bacon, International Man of Mystery?
SPEAKER_01No, no. I would never do that. But that doesn't mean, you know, you hire him, you never met these people, you get a recommendation, they turn out to be rhinos, or they turn out to be not so good.
SPEAKER_00I didn't hire him, no. I just asked him to come on the show.
SPEAKER_01You know the word jaw boning?
SPEAKER_00No, I no.
SPEAKER_01I I did a lot of jaw boning against him.
SPEAKER_00Well, Don, I gotta be honest. This has not been as enjoyable as I thought. I thought putting together this interview was gonna be fun, but it's really left me empty.
SPEAKER_01I know you have to say that for your network, but you shouldn't say it. Because that's the problem.
SPEAKER_00And I frankly, I kind of hate you. You'll have to take that back. I th I hated you coming in, and I I hate you more now.
SPEAKER_01And you may not even put this section on your show, and you'll have to decide what you want to do.
SPEAKER_00Uh, this has been hours and hours of editing this interview, and you know, it's just not easy. It's not easy. And it's so hard. And so I think I'm gonna discontinue this thing. I'm gonna end it. I proved that I could do it, I proved that I could make it look like I interviewed you, but why would I ever want to do that? Real or fake?
SPEAKER_01Do you think I have a right to complain about an election?
SPEAKER_00I think you're disgusting. I think you never have been accountable for anything. And this is kind of like just me playing a fantasy out where I get to confront you. You soggy old bastard.
SPEAKER_01It's so unfair.
SPEAKER_00Who's never really owned up to anything.
SPEAKER_01No, no, let me just tell you what I do.
SPEAKER_00And who is just a braggart. So Don, go fuck yourself. What? Please don't run. Goodbye.
SPEAKER_01I have all the time in the world.
SPEAKER_00Why is it Alright, folks? I couldn't do it. I wanted to make it fun. It just sucked. There isn't anything fun really happening. His interviews are boring and long-winded and way too serious. And there's just nothing funny about this fucking loser. So let's put him to bed. And let's move on to greener pastures. I I I don't even know what to do. I don't know what to say. Fuck this guy. Peace out, everybody.
SPEAKER_01Let me put it this way I behaved so well. I did such a good job.
