AARON GENTLE

Aaron Gentle stops into the attic to discuss his turbulent adolescence, the "mistake" that saved his life, his time within the US Marine Corps, and his future plan, which is designed to resolve the existential difficulty that comes with living in the modern machine. Oh, one more thing: Aaron is a phenomenal singer-songwriter to boot. His full acoustic set starts around the 1h26m mark. Check out his music via the link below.

Aaron Gentle on SoundCloud
A Talk in the Attic on Facebook
Joe Jenneman on Spotify
Michigan Podcasting Network on Facebook

Transcript

spk_0:   0:20
I've been around, you know, way. Welcome to the attic. It's March 6th. It's Friday and you know what that means. We have an interview in store for you today. We're about a week into this podcast project. Good Lord. I couldn't be any more excited than where we're at. We've got over 700 listens, Total. We're closing in on that 1000 listen milestone that I had set out there as a potential goal for this week. We might hit it. More importantly, I'm having a blast is making me feel like a kid again. And I don't mean the little kid that wants to put a firecracker in the mailbox there. Blow armpit farts when the substitute teachers in class, That's nothing. A little kid I'm talking about. I'm talking about the little kid who was uninhibited, who wasn't prejudging the outcome before he knew what would happen. But the kid that was willing to take out any things and try give it a shot. I had a good conversation with my friend John Matthews this week from Denmark, and that interview will be posted here in the coming weeks. But John is experiencing a similar awakening where he's trying things that he kind of always wanted to do, but decided that it wasn't in his best interest or that he wasn't gonna be able to do it or that he'd fail. But what's failure? And on the flip side of that, more importantly, what success? This podcast doesn't have to get to 1000 listens. It doesn't have to get me a sponsorship. It doesn't have to be a springboard to some other broadcasting career. It doesn't have to be any of that stuff. All this podcast has to be is what we wanted to be, what I wanted to be. And so far, what it's been is educational, fun moving. I've been afforded the opportunity through this project to talk to people in a way that I would have never talked to some of these people. And why is that? Why are we so comfortable with small talk? And with leaving that there, Why don't we want to dive in? Let's dive in, and today is no exception. We fucking dive in. Today I got a former classmate of mine. We weren't exactly friends growing up. We weren't enemies were just in different circles, but That doesn't mean we don't have a lot in common. And the same goes for all of your neighbors and friends and acquaintances and enemies and anyone. We all have shared experiences. That said, on paper, A Jay's experience is unlike any other resume I've seen. He was essentially a high school flunky who knocked up his girlfriend, which started a whirlwind of decisions, a whirlwind of experiences. And I don't even want to ruin it for you. I want you to listen to this guy. We kind of mander in and out of conversation. We mander in and out of chronological order. I apologize for that. But that's how we talk. So to make it simple for you all set the baseline now A J joined the Marines at 19 stayed in for a while. Left, did some time in Afghanistan that some time in Japan that some time in San Diego. That's a time in Virginia. Did some time in Jacksonville, North Carolina, kind of that classic military resume in that regard. But what he was doing within the military is unique. He wasn't just a Marine corporal. He was doing legal work that I guess I didn't even know really existed. He explains that a little bit. He explains how music has been a part of that. You're going to hear some of his music as well. Not only is a little intro into the full interview, but also at the very end around the one hour, 23 minute mark did a little acoustic set for me in the attic, and he's freaking good and you're gonna hear it, and you're gonna think, Wait a minute, this guy is Ah, he's a Marine. He's a paramedic. He's a future practitioner of medicine. He's a guy who his dream job is to set up a clinic in 1/3 World country where you can help people give them access to medicine that they wouldn't otherwise have had, but also a place. It's free of the amenities that he's grown to dislike so much he finds amenities in creature comforts, bullshit, construct the modern society that he doesn't want to fit into, necessarily, and that's okay. This guy's gonna drop on you some perspective that I can almost guarantee you haven't heard, and I think everyone will be better for it. So give it a listen. It's a little bit lengthy. Split it up into some time. If you need Thio, skip ahead. Skip around again if you get out to the one hour, 22 minute mark about is where he plays his music. He does three originals and two songs from Hamilton. He talks about how Hamilton has impacted him recently. This isn't a good interview. Let me know what you think. I'm Facebook Instagram Twitter. At a talk in the addict, check out the Michigan Podcasting Network on Facebook. Type it into your app. You can see all the podcast that are part of the network. They've been supportive. It's been fantastic. Check out a Jay's link in the show notes in the episode notes that will take you to his album, Night Thieves, which is on Soundcloud. This is an album, he wrote while he was stationed in Japan, learning himself, learning how to write. And was he prolific. He's a very talented songwriter. He's a dad. He's a Marine. He's a future practitioner. He's a paramedic Today. This kid is interesting. Have a listen. Let me know what you think. Let's start the show with you.

spk_1:   6:11
I haven't never really bands good at planning. 16 doing ecstasy now. I'm here. Lately I have been thinking about right and all town. Wait. Here goes anyway. She floated through the door on a Friday night pink care with their grace slick. What rabbit eyes? I

spk_0:   6:44
thought game over. I'm done. Okay, So here's my deal. When we were in high school and again, you and I weren't like friends like you didn't run in the same circles. So while I kept one foot in the water with, like, I had my steaks and that group, so I had to play that part, You know what I mean? But good thing, though, you might have gone with those guys. Well, I just about did if I wouldn't have gotten pregnant when I was 19 I honestly saved my life. It did because, like, I was able to get so many pills at school, I was getting Xanax and Adderall on Ambien. And Sarah quote, I was taking all that shit during class between. How are you focusing? I fucking failed everything. Like I barely graduated. And you're smart. Yeah, and I like I did really well in English and history, and I was got in trouble for reading ahead because I love reading, and I love history, and I love English, but yeah, dude, I just failed fucking everything. I was so fucked up by entirely. I don't remember. I could assign. You know, what's interesting is like you said, we were more, you know, there was no bad blood and way had different groups because of our basic extracurriculars. You more on the job? Exactly which I kind of wish I would have been. Well, it was actually a funny story about that that I associate to you. And this is even like before the intermittent times that we would talk throughout the one of the last decade and 1/2. I played football all through middle school, and I played freshman year in high school. I did not make it through the entire year and was because of you. Really? Yep. I No, no, no, no, no. I played quarterback or whatever, and I was in for a player. Whatever. And you were playing. You were playing quarterback and you didn't end around. It were like, 10 yards out from the end zone. And I went squared up to stop you at the goal line and you just dropped your shoulder on Fucking blasted me. And I was like, Yep, that's not what I'm doing. I'm sorry. You know, it's football. That's the part of the game. That's when I realized, like, that's not my thing. You can't hang with that. We'll put you on your path that you're so good. Thank you. Great. I did that for you. I noticed a nonverbal scenarios. Leveling people into different career. Path is not accepted, particularly in the legal system. Absolutely. From my perspective, I didn't know you were struggling like that. We were really putting off its struggling vibe so much as you just fucked up on drugs. Yeah, I mean, when you're that young you don't see like, I didn't see it as a struggle in my mind. I was in my basement like listening to the fucking doors and Led Zeppelin and playing my guitar and really just spacing into these things like I never had lessons like, I literally taught myself how to play from scratch. I've never had a lesson. I've never had a singing lesson. I've never had anything I have. There's no music in my family at all, and I want your super good. Thank you, but that you could attribute that to the time that you were fucked up in school. I mean, honestly, like playing guitar solos along with I can't quit you, babe. I zap 11 14 doesn't hurt, but yeah, but I kind of always knew like certain people were experimenting. Maur You could stay. They showed it more or something. I guess I didn't know. Yeah, about that about you. But dude, man, just the toll that drugs have had our little town barking crazy is crazy in infinity. It's not even probably even close to some of these times. Oh, no, because while it is a little bit depressed now, it wasn't so much depressed when were there, so I don't think so. And I mean, especially in the rural communities in Michigan. I mean, that's where you're really getting decimated. Like Flint and Saginaw are goners for multiple other reasons. But when, like the opioid thing is getting into, like, sandal at county and you know what I mean. There's just overdoses and overdoses. It's it's insane and that we facilitated it. And that's why the white lawmakers are now carrying out exactly a split second. I wasn't enough. It's no exactly. Yeah, Inner city Los Angeles, going through a heroine pandemic. And the nineties wasn't a big deal. But now that it's in pill form and in the suburbs, right, everybody's in danger right now that Rush Limbaugh had Yeah, well, he was telling everyone that smoked pot to go to jail. Exactly. I mean, I don't want to fight that guy. No, seriously, like all these pundits do that all the sides now I'm both sides at. Really? Yep. I'm left. I'm honestly, yeah, I don't want to be. I really don't want to even identify it Is that I Kind of just that I don't like the choices at all, But I'm not gonna not participate, right? It's and that's it's a hard That's a hard thing. I mean, I didn't vote my entire time in the military, and I don't know why I didn't. Well, I think you should remain a political, though. Maybe that's how I looked at it. And I've heard the counter argument, which also makes a lot of sense, like isn't Don't you want to have a hand in crafting your own fate and I'm like, I have to do it regardless, no matter what the fuck happens. But the difference is is like I served under Bush and Obama and both of those people. They have their absolute negatives, and I respect both of them immensely, and they both works. But Obama wasn't weak and military really know at all. He was a hot Yeah, absolutely. But I never had to serve under anybody like Trump. And if I wouldn't have gotten out for my reasons that I got out for, I don't think I would have stayed the full 20 under this administration. Know, did these? Janet, He's mind blowing to me is that he's getting the veteran community. Or during the time period of Mattis resigning, he was able to make the veteran community turned against James Mattis. We haven't had a general like James Mattis since General Patton. I mean, he's that caliber of military leader, right? Which is what, exactly how he was trumped up when Trump brought him in. Because that's really what it is. Tell me, what is. The reason why he resigned is because he wasn't that good of a leader. Yeah, he was gonna lead by example. Exactly. Wasn't gonna participate, was not gonna participate. So should I not vote? I'm not. I can't. I voted last election, but I voted for what the fuck? Gary Johnson didn't even know where the war in Syria was going. Didn't know there was a border left. Yeah, I just didn't know what it waas What's that one now? Yeah, it's completely in that time was unimportant. Wasn't on the news cycle. Jesus. Oh, yeah. And all those stoners are idiots. You do forget stuff. That's that is fair. In fact, I forgot to ask you what your name is. My name's Aaron gentle. You go by air instead of a J. I do. Yeah, I go by Aaron, Look, with my family and obviously old friends all call me a J kind of a self important thing, I guess. And I was, like, in my mid twenties, I was like, Okay then. Then the key and Peele thing came out and he became a a Ron. Everywhere I go, everywhere I go that we're we're fucking old. Dude, we are. But how do you feel inside of your brain and stuff? A lot better now than I did in my twenties. You're less fucked up now. We're not fucked up. Well, I mean, you're fucked up from experiences, not from chemicals. Yeah, Yes, exactly. That's a That's a really good way to put it. And I kind of I guess you said you're trying to keep the show, April But I think that's kind of how I identify, like as a person in this country is a political. I just fuck. I don't like any of them. It was not a fan of it. Like, let's change. Let's be smart. We're creative people. We've got a lot of great things as a race and as a society within this country, let's be creative, like we don't have to be confined to this document. Let's expound upon that lets user experiences to create better experiences for the future. It was like that, like, people like to tout the founding father of the Founding Fathers as being like these, all knowing or so they don't know what the fuck was gonna happen. They did a great job, but they're guessing. Yeah, they were fucking gas. And then no clue it was they didn't even know they were to win the goddamn war. No, you know, And then once they had it, they didn't know what they were gonna be able to hold it. Yeah, The British Empire at that time was still massive, right? If they wanted to take it back and, you know, 18 or four, whatever. They probably had a good chance. They made a damn good run in 18 smoke. They should have. They should have banded up with the natives. Probably gone after those colonists. God fucking just the The whole country is built on genocide thing. It is. It's horrible. It's fucking horrible. But then, you know, we worked with Jessica. I watch a lot of these nature shows, too. And you watch these animals, man. And they're just fucking killing everyone, too. The difference is work. It's all the same species. Yeah, Yeah, that's the difference in the tribalism thing. We're all the same, but we're all humans were the same, right? And not like a polar bear eating a fuckin seal or something. Yeah, but it's not I mean, fucking lions fight each other, you know? I mean, like, animals fight each other. It's just we do it on such a mass scale. But don't we need two billion people? Believe there So we can stop fucking with the environment so bad. Do better with probably five off, I would imagine. I know, honestly, if we could get it down, like maybe 1000. Just keep all the smart, intelligent bright, long as we're in there. Yeah, right. Which I think I think you're absolutely. You look good as to you. You will. You You were kind of strong as a kid, you know? Very much. So now you're like, fucking you, Jack. I'm not Jack from, uh, comparative perspective compared to what I was when I was eating handfuls of Adderall. Yes, it is a pretty big Maybe that's why you're growing. Kids are prescribed that all over the country every day. Yeah, I know. They're all skinny tweakers, you know, it's part of it. Partially true, though. Yeah, absolutely. They should make a parent any kid that takes a 30 milligram Adderall home. The parents have to do that for a week first to see what it's like. What speed do they offend me? That business, It ISS keeps you focused if you need anybody. But if you don't need it. It's too much when you're doing it just for fun. Disease? Yeah, when I do it for funds. Easy because I wantto talk faster than I already do. Or be more worried about things like what? I don't need to be focused. I have enough focus. There's one thing that people like you and I need, and that's to be more verbose. So finally somebody said it, Uh, some of that's for you. You're gonna start a podcast said I'd really like talking to people, man, and I got sick of small talk. But when you find yourself having small talk with people that you know, quote unquote, no, yeah, that gets old. It does. But so that's the thing, though. Like I mean, I have completely disengaged with everybody that I talked to you since we were growing up. With the exception of DuPont's like him and I have gone through like there may be times were even talk to each other, like in a year. And then we'll talk, and it's just like there was no nothing missed, right. He's the only one. Not like when we say that we talked like old friends. There's never any like substantive communication within that right when you know DuPont's is your guy troubling? Probably if you had one. You have your kids now? Well, yeah, right. Like I mean, those are my people, right? Like, how many kids do you have? I have to have two boys, Two boys up there, 14 and 12. They're gonna be 15 and 13 this year. How is that relationship? It's absolutely fantastic. I mean, like, my oldest son was a nightmare. As a toddler, we could honestly cause a lot of problems between being Stacy, who's my ex wife. And like we were just in a very it's I mean, it's No, it's not a unique situation because there's thousands, tens of thousands, millions of families that have gone through that this fire was being in your early twenties deployment, right? Mike, my youngest son was born three weeks before I shipped out, and that was pretty hard on Stacy, who is to this day if she is my absolute best friend. So you guys co parent very well together, we'd really do. I mean, she like her, and I talked almost every single day every day, but I mean it again. like it won't even always be about the kids like, I mean, a lot of the time it is, but we'll talk about music and all the things that we were friends with. But do you have feelings for? It's still like that. Romantic knows No, she's they're not married. I mean, they might as well be Thio man named Joe. And he is when I could not have asked for a better. Absolutely, He's been there, both phenomena like, and I'll go over there to go get the boys and they just had a little girl together. Her name's B B and I have, like, a relationship like she knows who I am. So I was like playing with Aaron like it's just a very, really cool, blended family. That's something I'm like, fiercely protective over and proud of that. It doesn't work out very well for a lot of people. It doesn't. And so, like, I feel like in my dating life, my protection off that has caused a lot of problems. Not because anybody that I was with specifically was like upset with the fact that I was like that. But I my boys have only met one woman. I've been divorced for 10 years. So one woman since then. Yeah, besides, states is only so so it was that a heartbreaking one. It was tough, dude. And again there was, like, a unique set of circumstances. So when I was in paramedic school, like this process took me, there was a long time, not a long time again. I don't want to save like I've been doing emergency service in my entire life. I haven't been doing it for almost two years to the day. Just about was when I started E m T school. Your military experience gave you some level that I would like. I feel like it gives me a different kind of insight into the organization, and I don't want to say like the specific organisation I work with, it's just dysfunctional on. That won't change until educational standards change. And then the standard like the way that people are paid. And I don't think a lot of people within my professional like wow, if a fast food worker makes X amount that we should make X amount of like, No, that's the wrong way to look at it the way you should look at it is that fast food worker works for an industry that you know profit $7.8 billion off their back every year. And they should be paid appropriately speaking, more based exactly, yeah, it's not what they're doing. It's the profit that they generate. People have an impossible time understanding. The problem is, is that we don't have a manufacturing industry that's inherent within this country, and we're so our industry is the service industry. And the only reason that our country profited was because I'm not a fan of the unions again. I know this is a political, but the unionized and they got these guys paid appropriately to what the company was making eventually, obviously, really So have a union every time. There's no union people getting taken advantage they're getting taken advantage of. But then it's one. Unions become too big. You have issues like what happened with the Big Three and that's fine. But like it's like the nurses unionize nurse's room, getting shit on for a long time. And they unionized because they did that the educational standards were raised so they were able to pay more, and they're drawing better people. They're drawing better people. And if they could do the same thing with emergency service, is because I'm sorry. Like like firefighters, MT. Is cops. Sometimes they go in first and there's a really shitty situation and, like they have to manage it like you have two critically think you have to decision make, which is hard to do in an office. Which is hard to do when you're managing a restaurant, which is hard to do anywhere, let alone under serious danger. Exactly. So let's pay people appropriately with all the trauma. PTSD and stuff was through ex military people coming back, right? Don't you find their triggers of PTSD and stuff? Doesn't it? Kind of makes a ex military person a bad candidate for law enforcement? Sometimes kind of, Don't you think that's a really generalized It's super broad stroke. It s so give me a more nuanced take on that. Well, I mean, there's not I I don't think that's fair. And I don't think I'm in any position to given due on steak on that. I give flank. Yeah, I don't feel comfortable answering that because I'm not comfortable answering on somebody else's reaction to a stressful and since individual based and it's based upon past traumatic experiences to like people that are susceptible to PTSD are ones that are more susceptible to PTSD. And again, this is broad strokes were more likely to have incidents of childhood trauma. And that's what kind of allows for those triggers were never to fall into place because of the four that's more in your formative years. Exactly. So that is tough, I will say. And like, I feel comfortable saying this, that people that are veterans and I say veterans as like they did it for four years and they got honorably. They're just fucking people. Yeah, but they're not more qualified or less qualified than anybody else because 98% of us didn't do shit like not none of us were Navy seals. None of us were special forces. But people in your position are made to murder or not murder, but kill in the name of war and stuff that time state sanctioned murder, state sanctioned murder. I mean, I don't want to call it eggs. I don't want I don't want to put it on the that. It was not on the it's not. I mean, they're doing a job. Let's call a spade a spade. It's murder any. If you're you're used as a tool for, and that's damaging to your psyche. You, no matter what age you are, is it, though For some people it is absolutely. It didn't affect you in that way. Well again, I will never claim to have seen any sort of real combat. We had a few suicide bombers driving to our base blow them up like the window my barracks blue, how we got bordered a couple times while around the road we took a pot shot from the side of a mountain. I saw an I D go off probably 500 feet in front of me. Nobody was hurt on Lee, someone that has experienced that would be saying when such a nonchalant manner, though that is, if that's kind of the low end stuff, that which is indicative of how serious a lot of other people experience exactly. And that's why there's like no part of me that could never be like I you know, like if I'm picking up a girl at the bottom of the Gamma combat, well, yeah, Yeah, you know what I mean? But, like, really like the grand scheme of things like there's a paramedic that's a supervisor at my company who was in Fallujah. I don't know. I don't think he was there like the big battle in 04 But I think was, 05 or six on those guys got fucking racked. And that dude's legit. Combat right. Like like our friend Bobby is a look, a shit combat. There's there's a difference. So we're so grateful for that for those people that have to do that. But it's hard to have a discussion that's critical of the war that doesn't come across critical of the of the participants. I don't I don't agree with that. But do some military people agree with that? I have you come across? I would say that I'm probably unique in my way, how I view that because I've always been like a self educated student of history. I just read so much so I have. Even when I was in, I kind of had a more objective take on my role within the greater organization. What was your job inside inside the Marines? So with like I joined the Marines. I took the as fab, which is a test that gets you into whatever. Like it kind of ranks you to what jobs you can have. And I scored. I think 94 on the recruiters, like you can pretty much do whatever you want. And that's after you. You fuck your way through school and generally get your grades. Other than English, history isn't after. Like, I went to college and did ecstasy every night. So I got a girl pregnant. The American dream? Yeah, that that we've been dating for, like, three months. It's exactly how let like Stacy, if you're listening. You know, that's exactly how in that little guy that came out came out of that situation to save your life absolutely did so at that point before I joined the Marines. It wasn't like the ecstasy, like I say, that kind of tongue in cheek. But like I was taking Xanax really regularly and really heavily to the point where I was, you know, like I was taking like 56789 polls. And then it's blacking out like no clue I was getting here or there or wherever Yeah, and your son has so much potential, isn't everybody told me when I was a kid. I was like, this musician, and I was like, Well spoken, you know, they mean, like, you're energetic, though. You have a good vibe. Thank you. I appreciate that. I feel like I'm pretty repulsive to some people. Uh, yeah, those people, There's some. There's something else going on. Exactly. The older you get the morning realized when people are mad, you're mean to you. It's kind of their something. It's that reflection of their own deal. I just had a really bad problem. Xanax and Stacy could actually broken up because I told her I wanted to join the Marines before she even got pregnant with Atticus. And she looked Bostick Cousin Stacy's still I mean, she stole. That is like this. Like, really like free spirited, like Mother Earth. Like just She's just a That's a very attractive call. It issues a beautiful soul, just beautiful person. She really is, like, spiritually intuitive. Absolutely. And she, like, carried our family. She made our family possible to be what it is today through some really hard years. But yeah, like I broke up with her like, a week and 1/2 later, she called me. She's like I'm pregnant. And I was like, a mother fucker. What am I gonna do? I'm addicted to Xanax. I smoke weed every day like I don't have a job. Like I was back living with my parents. I had no prospects, and I was like, Well, fuck it, man. I'm gonna go join the military, lack lack of options. It was totally lack about which is a common reason people in list. Yeah, Yeah, absolutely. And I was coming from a privileged white whatever. Even I was like, Mom, what the fuck am I gonna do, dude? So, like I told my parents, I was like, Yeah, I'm gonna join the military. Went well, let's think about this because it was 2005. You know, if the wars were hat hot, hot, hot I mean at that time, like the climate within the country was very fearful. Like in the middle. It was right after Fallujah and 04 which killed hundreds of guys. Really? The biggest loss we've had since the Vietnam War. Iwas itwas Yeah. Say Well, that one engagement. Yeah. Margin might be up there too. So you're back? Yeah. So, like, I I was like, Fuck that again. Scrawny little kid. Whatever. 19 years old, I walked in the recruiter's office and, like, I want rate that I could never went to a different recruiters. Officers. I'm fucking joining the reason I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Try. Stuart was, you know, it was what the fuck he told me. He told me his nickname was Ace was it was Kirk Ryan. Kirk Ryan. Don't you know that ISS Just as we have the same first name or the only? Obviously, I feel like you guys all band together. He went to high school with Stacy's sister, who told me that he nicknamed himself Ace, which I always loved That story, he was a total come back, but yes. So, like, I went and signed my papers like it happened really quick. I came home from that meeting and I told my parents that I joined the Marines and they both started weeping. I called Stacey and told her that I really, really high ends, and it's at this point. Oh, no, I Yeah. So it took me like, literally like me waiting next to Stacy and bed, throwing up, sweating, shaking like a shitting. This is during withdrawal. After I stopped taking his anti after she got pregnant, it was really, really bad again. For me, it was only like, two or three days I could imagine for, like, a legit addict how horrible that has to be, but yeah. And so, like, So I went to the office of, like, three days later, Kirk Ryan comes to my door in his dress, Blues comes in like that was like the good afternoon, ma'am. Good afternoon, sir. To my parents, like putting on the marine face, Probably resent him to something. No, they didn't. My parents were just fucking hook, line and sinker. Oh, just service. Just look at this Marine and his uniform, you know, like it doesn't really Michigan. The accent making exactly. Oh, you look so good in that. It's just so sharp. Oh, yeah. Women want him. Men want exactly. He should be called the exact right God. And then they said that the end of that was Hey, you were taking him to Afghanistan. No, no, it is kind of funny. How I got theirs. So I joined. He left and then I was supposed to leave, like, a month after that. And then I got a phone call. It's okay. You can leave two weeks early. Do you want to go on? Let's just fucking do it. So I had, like, two weeks later, I got on my plane, went to San Diego. I went to the airport, bunch of drill instructors picked me up, threw me on a bus, took me into the depot. Just fucking screamed at me for 48 hours. Like I was, like, sweating freaking. What were they up to? Briefing you on what they do. I don't even remember. All this is to get the boot camp. Oh, yeah, They don't mention the real military. Okay, Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. So when you get there, just doing it to break it down. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Start breaking down process. Dehumanize the whole thing. It's so effective because I was so freaked out and then about a week or two. N this drill is doctor was just fucking housing this guy screaming out of making you do push ups. Then anything is anything off limits nothing. Literally Not. So you just housing this guy? And what? I remember what he said. Something. I forgot what it was like. That is a fucking sick burn. And like, I just sort of laughing. And then I got absolutely destroyed, and I was like, It's a fucking game. You think that's funny, Private? Your order was. That goes well. My last name was gentle, man. Yes, I missed you. So they had nicknamed me Precious. You were tying at this point. Super small. 5555758 I grew two inches and scrawny and real scrawny coming off. Yeah, right. I'm not a big dude right now, so I was pretty small back then. You're, like, really put together a stinking gentle. It's a funny name. Absolutely. In that contact, right? And so, like, they nicknamed me Precious before even showed up because my name was on the fucking roster. So I was like, I was just targeted rate rate from day one. I love your spirit. You probably you probably have, like, probably like you. Like Rudy Way. So I was really in it, man, like I loved, like rape, hook, line and sinker. from the very beginning as soon as I started boot camp was like, This is my shed. It's horrible. And I hate it, but it's a game. Like, if I could just make my way through this and good. And like, I kept on getting promoted to squad leader, which would get me a promotion once I graduated. Like I was a good shooter. I was good in the field, but I couldn't march for shit. I was fucking horrible. But that's surprising because you remember, you were in drama and stuff all the time. It was a fucking dancer. Look, I just in drama from you. Kirk was not a passion. But you need to realize, I guess I missed. I guess I missed. I did a lot of plays when I was in high school, but that was my refuge where I could get away from home so I could take drop in Tom Smith in a fucking care. He was on drugs. You could believe that out, Thompson. If even it fucking care. So, yeah, that was my whatever, but yeah, I couldn't march. And so, unfortunately, the last thing that happens for you graduate is you have final drill. We have to march in front of all the family is like precious. You're a fucking bitch. But you can't march. I'm not putting you out front. Get in the middle of all the people so nobody can see us around yourself Better. Yeah, I was like, Okay, a lesson in there. Yeah, there be better at fucking marching or just hide her on other people. Why isn't good enough that I could hit 10 out of 10 from 500 yards of my four. So that prickly did you from that precluded you for some sort of advanced. I didn't get a promotion because he couldn't marlin a fucking march. It's a bullshit. It's bullshit thing. So trivial. Yeah. I don't know why I'm marching so important in the military. It's crazy, so important. But when you were in combat, you have any other you just scrambling around what it is? It's the instant obedience to orders in concert with other people. And would you have that beaten into you and being able to rely on them to do what they're supposed to do? Like you know what I mean? There's a lot of trust. Yeah, that's involved with that. You better not be doing this crazy spending thing. No, if now I know everyone else better fucking do it too. Yeah, right. Just let me hold out of the grenades. You just take him out of my hands. I'll be really like a fucking busker. It's a carnival. So? So you got right into it, though. You think you probably were Creating the structure may be absolutely definitely. I really flourished under a structured environment. What I needed was focused, and I just didn't have any and finding law within that going through paralegal school. And then, I mean, I took a lot of advanced courses over the course of my career for specifically for legal ethics research and writing a lot of continued education so that the legal side was your career path within the Marines before you. This is after right after boot camp, right from day one, That's what. So what happened was is like I never wanted to deploy even when I joined. I want a fucking go to war like I'm not cut out for that shit. And then a strange thing happened, like, churns out. If you join an organization where the whole sense of pride and purpose is based upon war. Fighting, like the Marine Corps is, you develop that too, And like a soon as I got my first battalion, and I was like, Fuck, I wish I would have joined the infantry. Semper fi. Yeah, like so. Obviously that veteran notes like, Well, I wish I was in the infantry because you're fully intact and yeah, but I got, you know, all my body parts. And but yeah, and so, like, after my first year as that, this is bullshit. Look, I want a fucking go. And so I just kept on volunteering and they kept telling me No. And then the common at the time, the commandant of the Marine Corps at the time released a message stating that you didn't have to ask your chain of command. You could write a letter, send it directly to headquarters, Marine Corps. They were so short, they needed They were just looking for bodies, literally the same day I drafted the letter and I sent it to have Kirsten require that I got a phone call. Two weeks later, I went to a month or two on work up reading a bunch of shooting packages and field hikes and calling in artillery and all that bullshit that you do before you go bullshit right before it's important. But at the time were going through, you want to get just get going, right? And yeah, then So what? Stacy had Raffi, my youngest son, and like, we was a great babe. Uh, I'll be back. And I never told her that I volunteered. I told her that I got picked my fucking body. Scott, that son of a bitch. She went to Iraq like three times. Just dropped it one night while we were drunk together. That's why you shouldn't amount exactly. It caused a huge rift between me and Stacy. Her Stacy and I I'm sure she didn't know it was not very good. So you name your first on Atticus? Yes. And you joined the military in the Marines and wanted to go into law. So Atticus Finch is clearly a big spot inspiration to you? Well, I mean, we did. He was named after Atticus Finch. My like the wall was just something in my mind again, because when I joined, I didn't want to deploy That would keep me Keep me out of that shit. And I thought because I'd like to write, read, and I'm a narcissistic douche bag. That would be perfect. That's great. I gotta do I have a job for you. Exactly. Yeah. But then, yes, I volunteered to go. I left and I got there, and I was analyzing intelligence as it was coming in, but public, the COC, the command operations center. We were right in the middle of Kabul, in Afghanistan. It's a really small base, right in the middle of the city. And so, like, after a couple of weeks of that was like Fuck, man, I don't wanna be sitting in a goddamn operations like I want to be out patrolling. So we have this Lieutenant Colonel that was in the Army. And, like, I was a corporal in the Marine Corps, like I was pretty like I was a hard charger, you know? Pretty fucking motivated. Yeah, And I was like, Sir, like, I want to go on. I wanna go on the road. I want to go on the road. I want to go on the road. And finally he was like, I can't fucking deal with you anywhere. Gave me a couple of missions to go escort people to the airport back. We were in armored SUVs. But that's risky. You're only open any time you're on the road. In those countries. At that time in 2007 to 2000 it was pretty fucking risky, because even just ideas, Like, not even firefights, but yeah. So, like we did, I did that. Ransom missions in the SUV is that I got placed with kind of a hodge podge. It was an ad hoc force protection team that was members of the 82nd Airborne guys that had all been there for, like, 10 months at the time. They were doing an 18 month deployment s so they kind of threw me to the wolves, right? Like I was this 22 year old corporal, like I moved up the ranks like I got corporal pretty fast. Which is an important rake in the Marine Corps. Is like Corporal Precious Corporal Precious. Well, not at that time. No, that's that You escaped what? Everybody started calling me once I got promoted to Nancy. It was Corporal G. And then adventure became Sergeant G. Stop saying my last name because it took away. Look, again. It's not like I was never like this. I was always pretty cerebral in the Marines, and I was always, like, hipster and everybody, you know, I never gone like, you know, gee, that's a cool name. Sergeant G. Yeah, that would be like, you're right. Like it's all my flax I like, but Yeah, man. So, like, I got thrown to the wolves with this walking team, What were what were those guys like? They were great experience, very experience. And they're all infantry guys. So, like, they looked at me, they were like, Okay, you're a marine. And, like, in my mind, on my camel fucking marine. Like I don't know, whatever Bow down to you guys. You guys were in the army, and then they started, like, going, making me go through the weapons. I'm like, Oh, yeah. I don't know. As much as they were brutal to be a man that the first couple of weeks for him, and they should have, they did the right thing. Like, dehumanizing again. Absolutely. Because they had to. But is that subculture what leads to like the Abu grab grab and all that other shit, though you know those air prisoners, you can't do that to prisoners. You could do it to your fellow soldiers and Marines if you're preparing them to get into combat. Because these guys had seen combat before and after I left, it was whenever, except was there in the winter, that they knew that was what it was gonna take to get you ready. Exactly the muscle, in my opinion, in that environment there is that it's necessary. Yeah, I will never advocate for in any other environment other than that right, And I didn't feel comfortable with myself operating those weapons systems without being just brutally drilled on them. It was necessary for our group survival. It's not about me. 10 other guys or how many people will be there is, and my team, I think I'll be fluctuated between 18 and 26. Get like another year. Another 26 guys, right lying on and I had to count on that. And that's something that I really miss about the military. Is that the complete reliance on the group where the individual is not important and it's about the importance of the group, and it doesn't work in a lot of different ways in normal society. But I do miss that. Like I think about it Finally, quite a bit. So it's like I had bad, except some experiences were bad. But I always have found memories of them just because of the shared hardship that goes along with it. Right. And you can't pay for that experience. All right? You can. And so how was that experience when you were out and about with this group with 82nd Airborne? I was I mean, it was awesome like that. Did you see battles and should not know. So I never saw, like, a pitched fight. Never. I was never in it like a legit firefight again. It was a couple of pot shots from the side of mountains. While we're driving through, all we did was drive to Afghan National Army outposts. So you were training? We're training the new Afghan army. At this point, we we, the United States won't know what we were doing was going because a job was forced protection a couple, the colonel and her team, and like six of his staff for all engineers so they would go. We drive them to these outposts all across the board of the country. So I got to travel from its province called redaction, which is like borders on China and Pakistan, all the way down the east coast of Afghanistan, literally just driving along the border of Pakistan. So just beautiful mountain passes and, like, pristine country in nice weather, too. It gets cold there, really cold man in the winter, it was fucking horrific. But in the spring it was beautiful. Well, I mean, so certain points at Kabul's at 10,000 feet, right? So it was pretty cool, but yeah, and the winners, like you would drive through passes and there'll be 10 feet of snow. But, I mean, it would look like because the country is so untouched. It has been for existence residents forever. And there's just never a place that I've been were like at night, Like you could see the Milky Way just clears day. Amazing. Absolutely amazing. The only other similar experience that I have to that was when I was hiking in Japan. I went into the northern part of Okinawa, which is pretty a mountainous I might buy myself for a week. Understood? Go hiking in the jungle. And I was hiking and I stayed the night right off the side of a path and, like, set up my little camp. And when the sun went down, the ground started glowing and I had never seen that was it? It was So it was green and blue glow all over the carpet of the forest for was just here. It was like just algae. Oh, like in on the ground that were bioluminescent. It wasn't No, it wasn't a reaction to me. That's just what happens at night there. Did you know that when he got there? No. So you just stumbled upon the island for us? Yes. So I was like, Let's go back and do it. Yeah. Oh, my God. If I could find that spot again, I would love to. It was beautiful, Like I literally sat my town all night and I just, like, just looked at it. Yeah, I didn't have, like, any alcohol or anything with me. I have a phone. That's cool. But it was a new experience. Absolutely amazing. Just sitting out the jungle in the middle of the night by myself, with no means of communication with anybody. There's monkeys all over there. Two monkeys. There's actually a lot of monkeys in Afghanistan, too. I got woken up one night where I don't remember where everywhere I was sleeping and I heard, like, shrill, howling and I like, shot up. What the fuck is that? And then, like as monkeys. Dude, what the fuck is going out like, Where are you there? Were you shielded when you're in that Okinawa that by allusive, luminous area where you shielded from like the ambient, lighted the mainland and for the most part, was pretty thick. I mean, there's areas out there where the canopies science think that's really think it's what you love Japan absolutely loved. What do you love about Japan? The food obviously go to. I love the culture. That being said, I've never been more racially discriminated against that I wasthe when I was in Japan. But the good thing about Japanese racism is they don't like anyone that's not Japanese. It's less pointed exactly. The name, the word Guijin just means foreign. It doesn't mean like specific type of foreign. It just means not Japanese. Fuck you, your blow us. And honestly, sometimes I feel like we are right in some ways. But, like, I am just a cz good as the next Japanese guy for that brothel. You know, like, why do they have to cross their arms and say no gouging? I think it's because American businessmen go in there and act a fool. And so just the same reason why when you go certain pool is there. They have no tattoos, right? That doesn't apply to you. Yeah, that's where the Yakuza. Exactly. So you could still So you can just go with my pinkies, bitch. You just You just get lumped in because you're around I and round eyes act a fool. Do we got President Trump rocking around? Act like typical Guijin. Oh, he is to you issues with the guy. He is what the Japanese fear as guys, by the way, the whole breaking up chain of command to get up. You said you got the break chain commander to request getting Oh, yeah, that's so like incongruous with the military. It isn't all about change, but that was like, indicative of how short we were for dudes. to put on the ground in Iraq and Afghanistan. It was an albatross. Like the bird is pouring dudes into the space with no plan just taking these cities just to hold on for no strategic purpose. It's a jobs program, fucking jobs program. And they're underprivileged kids a lot of time. But you have to understand, too. Like that kind of bothers me like it's we all fucking wanted to be doing everybody. And like, we actively wanted to be there. You talkto any grunt in the Marine Corps right now, They're not like, uh, yeah, no, I don't feel like I want to go to war because I feel this. No, they want to go fucking fight. That's what they're trained to do. I totally understand, but they also de humanize you and built you into the way that they wanted you to think. Which is congruent with what they want, which is you and war. But they don't act like it doesn't actively enter your for me. It didn't I can only speak for me. It didn't actively undermined me. I don't give a fuck that I was going to Afghanistan to fight for X Y and Z, like in my mind was like, This is a couple of letters on my tombstone like this is part of my resume. I want to see how I'm gonna react in this situation. It was completely like, almost experimental you. But you seem to have lived your whole life. I'm impressed by it. You seem to have lived your whole life kind of something that values experiences maybe more than standard success. Not that you're not successful, by the way, but is that true? You're really chasing experiences. Yeah. I mean, that's an accurate way to put it that something like I developed over time, like again I What happened was when I joined the Marines. I was so fascinated about how steep they are in their own culture. That said something that, like never left me. They're obsessed with themselves, like obsessed with their own culture and their legacy. And that really rang true to me. So I've always been very focused on, Like when I die, I want to be able to set I have done X, y and Z, and if I could make some money along the way, that's great. Haven't really gotten there yet. because, like again, I just have picked jobs. They're not very forgiving on that regard, but I could have done pretty much anything. I wanted to know. You have the capability. Zambia. What? Everyone. But you also you spent time. And when you were in Japan, you were doing legal work there. Yeah, because of your schooling. Yes. And you didn't really like it. I like the challenge of it. Theo. Content got a little straining at the time because it was sexually saw. Our sexual assault related child pornography raped like it was. It was a lot. But all within the Marines own court system, all within the military's core systems, the Uniform code of military justice. So it's a federal court system again, just like the court systems that are in the normal world human car system. But I mean, yeah, I mean, to hold the same penalties were pretty much everything's exactly the same. We have to follow. The same case allows the federal court systems and all that, and there's a lot more administrative law. We deal with a lot of problems administratively. Vice judicially. That's always kind of the preferred route. If you could do it, But there's some things you can't avoid. So, so administrative. Maybe like you believe you. Yeah. I mean, they hold ah board and there's three guys in front of it, and you basically do like a little mini trial, like a fake trial. It's like some staff sergeant can do it. It doesn't have to be an attorney. There's have to go through quarters until you get representation. But it's more administrative, like you can't get a bad conduct your dishonorable discharge from it. You get there kind of guiding you through the process, exactly. But you're doing some heavy stuff. Child pornography cases and sexual assault within the military, Yes and forever. Reason Japan was pretty ripe for that. And I think at the time that just the culture within the Marines was very focused on sexual assault, as it should be if those those things are happening. But my position in Japan was the I was a regional defence counsel, so I worked directly for a lieutenant colonel who oversaw all offices in Okinawa, Japan, mainland Japan, you a cootie Guam and South Korea, and I managed all the enlisted personnel there, and he managed obviously all the attorneys that practiced in front of him. And so, yeah, a lot of it was just flying back and forth and seeing trials and doing research and providing updates to our cohorts in the Pentagon. Big level, high level. And in Quantico, we fly back to Virginia and DC, have meetings and do stuff like that was pretty like in my mind. It was very sexy and cool. It is kind of sexy. Cool? Yeah. Like what? It was pretty fun. Definitely totally identified with that at the time and ran with it. I'm not gonna lie. I mean, I was a single dude without her. 26. 27. What? You're really overselling your combat. I mean, sometimes you you throw in a big fish story. I've got a purple Heart, right? I've never done I've definitely threaten some big fish stories, but yeah. So, like I leaned into it, I had a great time. I had a great time. Like suits. E kind of felt like button button. Like a marine guard. Right? Exactly. So you wear your dress blues everywhere. No. Fuck. No man boots? No. I would spend half my time lying to girls and telling them I was a defense contractor talking about in these meetings, I think the girl. Okay, so, you know, in these meetings, we would wear, uh, Jesus. I felt like I was past this in my life. At 34. I don't know. We would go. You either wear like our camouflage utilities. We call them candy Is Or we were what were called Charlie's, which are kind of the iconic Marine Guard with the khaki shirt green pants. That's cool. Yeah, it's a great uniform. It's got to get a little They call it a piss cutter. I don't know what that you have met, but that's what we called a discovery kind of second vagina. It doesn't. That's what they maybe maybe if his cover is if we just backed away into a term for a pussy in boot camp, they called the top of the pussy. That's how they related to us. You that apparently that's still how I should be related things. Yeah. Yeah, because you thought I would ask you what kind of clothes you're wearing your dates. So So what is your relationship with relation with? Stacy is still alive. When you're in Japan or no. At this point, things were pretty strained between us. Me, That means in Japan is where I got the official divorce decree Mint. I wasn't being the best person again. I was very selfish, egotistical, narcissistic place. But doing work that was still valuable, though I was doing valuable work. But I was justifying my poor behavior because I was doing valuable work and like, obviously at that point, I didn't realize that that came with some reflection comes with age. But like, you know, Stacy had her things, and we both did some fucked up shit. There is no ill like again we she isn't like my best friend and she's Raffi and Atticus is Mom not only issued their mind, but like she's the mom like she is what you would want. Like my kids were at a disadvantage like, I mean, if you just working statistically. They came from a military household that came from a quote unquote broken family, which is a horrible expression, but that's in common usage, you know, like they moved around a lot. They mean Stacey dated a couple different guys they were exposed to. Obviously, nothing horrific happened to them, but like that's just a lot for young boys to take in while their dad's gone. And both my kids are just killing it in school. Atticus is a ridiculous musician, refuse, still trying to find his way like he's kind of a sensitive soul. He's got, like, all the sensitive parts of me. And then she is just Stacy, like just a bleeding heart. So he's gonna have a little bit and he's just gonna be more susceptible to things like you and I were where we do have an empathetic side so it allows for kind of more chaos. It does. I don't think I would change it. No, absolutely not. No, Atticus is definitely more pragmatic. He's got he is my baby. But I mean, Raffi is going to do amazing things with his life. So we see each other for miles, but again, going to this paramedic program for eight or nine months of it. You're literally working seven days a week, 12 hour shifts, everything seven days a week, two days, those weaker and class and your days offers some class, so, like it was really finding time to squeeze in with them. And like before I started this, I had two years at home where I was working elsewhere. We spent a lot of time together, like our relationship is. They're just like they're so easy. There's been things that we've had to navigate together, but there's never been like any really hard parenting that makes sense because they've been doing the right things. They have focuses that hobby is that like school? So it's just kind of like I showed him inappropriate shit. We have, like, laugh, really, really hire there. My boy is like they're just my boys, Like obviously we've had those two sex conversations and we're super open about, like sex, drugs, alcohol because because we in your product that where that wasn't open, it's a Midwest thing. I think you just don't talk about that kind of stuff. It's all what you end up doing it, just eating it until you almost blow up or you do right, yeah, not as much anymore. But I still do Give my mom should about that. I was, like, mad, like you guys were just had your thumb on me so higher it sounds like I'm gonna do whatever I possibly can. So I've always Stacey and I have always been really open with the boys. It's like you have, like, you need, if you would. You're in high school. I obviously don't drink. But if you do, there's not gonna be any repercussions. If you call, called will come get you. Just don't get new hire anybody you know, or if you're gonna smoke like that's I don't want you to do that right now, but if you do, just call me. Don't get into a car with anybody like three. Access to marijuana has drastically different for a 40 year old. Now that weird. I feel like it's got to be harder. Honestly. Well, the Vape pens make it nice and easy to conceal. That's a good point, but I feel like access to it is harder because for us it was pure black market. Now it's regulated stiffs. Exactly. You can steal from your parents like everyone was doing with the pill. That's a good plan. Yeah, that's a good point. My parents were only gonna leave, so I didn't have a lot of clout in that year. Unless you have, like some bad neck pain frozen shoulder. So So you're in Japan. You're doing this stuff. It's heavy work. You're hating it, Really? At the end of it, not the work. They're doing this right. But like the subject matter was too much. It became quite a bit. I loved my time in Japan because my access to travel. So I took advantage of that. But never in my life, even now or even after Afghanistan. But when I came home from Afghanistan, one of my friends that was pretty close to me got killed two weeks after, and it was a very, very, very, very hard on me. It was really hard on me, and I had a lot of like I left. Then he died. A lot of Survivor like I would have been able to fucking do anything about it as I am, you know, like American sniper in my way through things. They really cliche lions and having an American flag waiting behind listening Toby Keith afterwards. But never before my wife and I ever had an emotional reaction to something the way that I did to assisting and defending and trying the child pornography cases. Because the attorney is, and sometimes the chief's me being the chief would have to go in with and CS and view the child pornography. So that way they could admitted into the court and testify to the fact that the child is X amount of age. Probably someone's gotta be able to see it so they can attest the fact. Yeah, and you have to watch. And I had to do that. I think maybe two or three times, which wasn't that money. And some of the attorneys had a lot of carriers traumatization because of that, causing and leave the Marines or leave the profession drinking pretty heavily. It was really, really hard. I just never experience like I was having nightmares, and it was hard for me to, like, go home on leave to see my kids like it was hard for me to be around them. So you did come back with, like, some trauma. But it wasn't that kind of trauma that you typically associate with work. Yeah, it was solely from that. Uh, yeah, it was weird. I mean, what? It went away, and it's like nothing that I still hold on to you today because, like, e mean you can have significant trauma. You deal with it, you compartmentalize and then you move on like that's part of living, so people could do it. Some people can. I can do it with certain things. Sometimes I feel yeah, I feel like I do a pretty good job at most. I think that, you know, I think I have to agree just on the basis off what your experiences are and how you carried yourself. It's clear that you're able to do that, but I think it's also kind of pretty self observed. So you don't even really like I'm not like It's like I just know myself. I feel like I know myself well off again. I'm not saying that I'm in control of my emotional reactions to certain things, and there's people recently in my life that can testify to that. Like I do have kind of a mean streak and I have a temper. Yeah, I have that a little bit, too. And sometimes you're quick witted Thio and your sarcastic and sometimes we just say shit, we should eggs. That's just because you can make fun of someone doesn't mean or if, like you actively choose to be cutting because you felt like you were wronged. In a way, there's certain things that don't need to be sad egotism. It hate saying that's like like I'm sounding totally come back right now. No way you're aware of it. I mean, it was anyone listening knows that you might sound like a comeback, but a terrific church. Most people are going to say I wonder what to come back. Yeah, I'm really sorry that I bring that out, and this is interesting because I got some feedback on my episode with Billy the Kid. The first interview, the one that was perhaps the most pointed, was from my mom, and it was that to money f bombs. I don't feel like we're doing too bad right now. We were being good. Then you brought up calm bags. See you next Tuesday. But that's a term that is in my vernacular. Should be that big in the military legal tribunals with their powdered wigs. I Yeah, yeah, that's one of the first words they taught us. Oh, but there's a There's a key thing we haven't talked about here to throw all this. You know, you weren't really that into drama. You were a bad You're a bad marcher real bad. You know it. So someone at home might be thinking he's lame in the artistic sense, but that is absolutely not true. We only alluded to it a little bit that you're a musician. I am. You're a good musician. I feel like I'm okay. I'm a serviceable musician at this point in my life. Explain music for me. I started playing guitar when I was 14 years old. I went to a flea market with my parents again. At this point, I'd already been experimenting with weed. I was really into the doors. I just watched Oliver Stone's The Doors and watching Malcolm reply. Jim Worse. And I think you and I saw that together. I'm sure that was like That's what I want to do with my life at 40 and I really understood exactly want to be the Lizard King. I wanted pe ony, and I wanted a naked Meg Ryan. It wasn't too much toe and nearly make it Indian and a nearly naked Indian chasing route to a flea market. It was like a little tiny classical guitar, and I bought it or my parents bought it for me. And I took a home. I didn't touch it for a fucking year. One night, my brother in law called me and he was like, I was like saying that plucking the strings of guy was grounded for something. I got caught with Peter. I was drinking one of the multiple things I was grounded for. Never was a teenager. And, like, he was like, Why don't you fucking learn how to play that thing? Like, for real? Fuck you. And I were just talking about how Roberts, Right now we're just trying to squeeze him in now to get my mom Exactly what I was like. Fuck you, Mark. That's his name was like, I am gonna learn how to play this thing. So I did. I said he was despite it was a spike. It kind of was, Yeah, that's the best motivator and all the great things I've done in my life. Like I downloaded a bunch of but Zeppelin songs on Napster and sat down on my computer and just started noodling around, looked up a couple of entire tabs. And what's your favorite well yourself? Talk to I AM and you're you're not really a natural singer. You told me before. I'm not a natural singer. So how do you go from being a kid? That spite learns the guitar? Thio ultimately is performing in front of people 15 years later. Well, yeah, man, I don't know. I, like started playing in bands with her high school's. Or I have played with Adam and John P. U has played out at Pete's Bar. What grad partners? I was gonna say bar mitzvah because, like, fuck around in the pool That day I had two days ago, you guys were playing a savage was Jap a 45 or simply jab a 45 s? So that was the lineup arose. Me, John Duncan, Adam Badelj, Asher's Aaron people tore and the rebooted Bedell, which is hilarious because Fidel is the only one of us that's a professional, actively working musicians, professional musician. Yeah, dude, he's been playing down in Texas for years and years and years. So he wasn't that good then Or you just want a bit of I just wasn't fitting the vibe. We wanted some fucking Joey Rive iron Man. So we got Joe required to come front. Simply nobody recorded in the burglars basement. He was a good season. He had some success to you. Was in Georgia with Jackie. My finding Clyde. Yeah, that's a commercial success. They did? Yeah. I think they're getting somewhat play like they got some plates and radio stations were super cool. I've never gotten anywhere close to that. So? So Jack, 45. You guys were playing your kind of, you know, typical. It's typical high school band music. I got booted off the stage playing the Are. Didn't you guys play post prom? We might have. I don't remember do that. So many drunk my senior year for problem. I took too much ecstasy of Ditched her in the picture line, called DuPont's from the pay phone, and he came and picked me up rolling. I freaked out. I was right, right? Just like a fucking horrible Yeah, you? Yes. So, like, I played in those bands And then like when I left high school, I I didn't play that much. When I joined the Marines at my first duty station, North Carolina, I just fell in with a group. There was my buddy patch, his Brother E and my friend Rico. They might. Buddy Zane were all just really crazy about music. We're all Marines, and we just were able to play. So we started playing in these bands like they were nothing. This is 2006 and so, like we're playing these like, kind of like Jimmy. You know, we'd play 18 minutes songs and really, like, just masturbate with the guitar because we're all really good guitar playing for fun, right? We get drunk and, you know, just really follow each other. They provide exactly. I can't overstate how good these musicians are installed me. They stole our like we just played in bands. And that's when I started writing and I turned, testing my voice out. And my buddies, Scott, who is currently a professional base jumper now he was pretty kind of like a cheerleader because he was always a huge fan of, like, Nirvana. Pearl Jam. And I was really going for, like, that raspy whatever. And we have that good a natural Rask. Yeah, it is, but again, like I was just missing notes all over the place, but I was really just going for it. It's on super cheesy. But we're all drunk and young and whatever, and so that made it easier for me to like, kind of like, All right, I think I can if I can be serviceable in the sense that I could have a few notes, let the uniqueness of my voice carried me, then backed by very strong, lyrical work that in my mind that's how I was gonna do. Your lyrics are extremely powerful. Hands were personal. I feel like they were, especially when I wrote my first album. Like I wrote my first album, Ray actually wrote most of it in Afghanistan. And then I came home and put all the music to him, and I recorded it. I don't I don't even have a copy of it anymore. I saw I have no clue what ever happened to. You still know all the songs by heart? No, my God, no, I don't know any of them, Really. There's so many songs that I've written don't even have recorded. I still like if I would have to listen to it again and learn how to play it again. But then there's some songs. We listen back and was like 22 or 23 playing my guitar. And I'm like, I could never do that again out of practice on electric and improvising and all that. So I did that first album and, like, I showed it to people, and they were like, Okay, well, this is all right, You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't a positive when I first showed. It's like my family and stuff. They were like, Okay, well, yeah. I mean, your voice, like it's coming along. So you don't even, like, great. Like the music. And it was great. That was a general. When I was overdubbing guitars and drums, I had all these weaving melodies like the music was good, but you were also highly sensitive to your voice, too. Oh, yeah. So you're already on alert for that? Very insecure about it. And it caused me to reserve while I was singing. And then I moved to Virginia. I've moved from Jacksonville, North Carolina to Quantico, Virginia. I got orders to go to Quantico, and I waas working for the staff judge advocate. Still, the legal system, it was a promotion. It was a good position for me. Career wise But I guess I just fell in with a really good group of musicians in Virginia. Like I just got my 1st 8 years. We're super lucky since I've come home. I had nothing and they're all they're all breeds in The second group wasn't so. That was a band that we call Dress the Machine. We only put out one like Jam album, but it was too bankers. And then a bus driver. Yeah, they're all young. We're you know, we're all young dudes were really ambitious. And then so this group of musicians ones that I had North Carolina in the group that I found in Virginia That's when we started rotating and be all recorded albums for each other. So I played on Ian, So album I played on Patches solo album, and then Patch and Ian both played a mind, and vice versa. We rented studio space. My buddy Matt had his own studio, his basement. So we recorded like I recorded on top of an old record shop, Brothers of pianos all over the walls and high ceilings. And, yeah, just like the attic. Once you get that done, it's gonna be dope. Oh, yeah, the attic that we're in right now, right? Yeah, I remember in right now. Hello, but no. So, like that cycle of bands, especially my buddy Ian. Like, if anybody wants to look him up, it's Ian McLaughlin. He is phenomenal. You played and all those dance together. And Ian ended up getting us a show at Princeton. And so we drove up to New Jersey and played a show at Princeton on the campus for a pretty big amphitheater. It was just me patching e'en. Andi were doing like Soufiane Stevens covers and harmonizing like there was a really good reception. And I was like, Dude, we're gonna fucking do something like this is actually gonna work a band like this is something that we might actually catch. So that was the first time you really had that in a group where you really thought Oh, man, this could be something. Yeah, I felt it because it wasn't relying on me was relying on patch. It was related if one of us caught in, the rest of us were good. It's the same thing that you love about the military. Yeah, exactly. It was all kind of focused on We're all trying to make each other better. And like we were competitive, wasn't benign. Like there were arguments and fights. And like, literally, like, fight, fight, bleeding brights over creative stuff. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Obviously the guys that were not in the military like, what the fuck is going on? I think isn't gonna solve it like bullshit. That's what we just learned for the right time years patching you and their families from Baltimore. They come from like their dads, a ship pilot. So he drives their suit like, just really They're always in good shape, but they're like white dudes from Baltimore already ready to fucking They would fight each other just as much as anybody else. But no, there was a really good creative energy with that group. Like, I was certain that if it was gonna catch, that was gonna be the time on. Then I moved to Japan, and it kind of was fortuitous in the way that it made me be Maur to reflect Member the at my ability as an artist and not so rely upon other people and in Japan is when I released my first album, which is up on Soundcloud. If you type in air and gentle and type of night thieves will be like a black and white album cover of ah, mixing board. Yeah, that was the first, All right. Like I wrote it, I recorded it was all in my barracks room and like at certain points in the album you could hear, look very faintly. You can your helicopters in the background because I was on a military base or never which ties and really nicely. That's cool. It's super cool. It's a very happy accident type thing. And that was the first time where I was like, Okay, I have my own voice. I have my own skill set that I can That's when I first started opening up and feeling Wait, last reserved. I don't wanna play a little bit later. I don't know how well I'm gonna place. I played pretty hard yesterday in preparation to not fuck this up tonight. Yeah, so And as the years went by Lake because I didn't have other people pushing me and I was finding other interests, things that I wanted out of my life, it kind of has fallen by the wayside. Every now and then I'll write a song like I know you've seen me post stuff. It's been a couple of years. I've really been active in doing that. But you kind of help me right to the core, because you are exactly the kind of musician I tend to gravitate right. Some of that's really gonna be willing to put it out there. I'm a leader. It's person. I've gotten more lyrically sparse, the older than I've gotten. When I was younger, I would try to pack more words, and but what's happened recently and this is weird to me is I discovered the musical Hamilton, like my sister and I were taking the kids to New York City, so we were driving to the airstrip or whatever, and she put this on and I was like, Oh, fuck, man, It's like hip hop and kind of like I don't even really know what it wasa honestly like. The musical's theater stuff has never been on my radar. As far as music goes, I'm not like what's hot off Broadway, but yes, so she showed me this, and I'm like, all right, so they're like the hip hop elements. It's pretty good, but I'm such a history freak, like fuck, man. They're like rapping about the national banks and shit leg. Oh, I Let's wrap it about the Federalist Papers like that. I'm like, Okay, I can learn a lot from this. And I just listen to the album and I learned American history. I never cared about the American. I believe you. But you did enjoy history, loved it. But my focus is were World War two Vietnam, Korea, World War more the international conflict? Exactly. Just just be Why? Why do you think that ISS scope? Yeah, Yeah, just absolute breath of the conflict and its modern conflict is Maur obviously has more of an active impact on conflicts to come when the American Revolution does right, which is where my interest lies. Because a lot of the tactics that we still use today on a larger scale of the same ones developed during World War Two. Either I So I found, Hamel said. And it's really opened up like hip hop to me like I've always loved hip hop, but it opened up hip hop to me as a musician, which is something I never had access to and I started learning a couple of the songs, and I was like, Fuck, dude, I can actually wrap these, and I'll play one of the songs off it tonight. I can't decide if I'm gonna play right hand, man. Which is when the British were in the bay, in Washington's watching these guys come in again. We look at George Washington. Is this heroic all figure he didn't know if he was gonna win that fucking battle. So the song is his perspective. Like shit. The British are coming. I need some dude that could get down on the ground and trenching around in the hundreds. Alexander Hamilton, who legit took a team, stole a bunch of British cannons and then turned him on the British, sort of blowing them apart. How big of a window of time that he had when he noticed they're coming in when they could scrounge up some candid, you would imagine the line That shit was moving pretty slow, big like Yeah, you're right. The ship is coming in slow, but to scrounge up cannons for some steal them. Secondly, transport him their heaviest. You have. No, it isn't. And this point, I was in your hand was 21 years old, and he's also an aspiring rapper. Read an aspiring rapper, as most of them were, You know, as it's No, I mean, Thomas Jefferson on the Hamilton soundtrack just gets it. He was down. Use down. Yeah, his father, like 30 black kids. Jefferson was a fan of the African American. Is he What? The inappropriate cultural appropriation man did he ever rape away? What a horrible that make? No, but they were all pretty terrible people. Yeah, I mean, yeah, they were Things don't age well know. And I get like, I definitely slavery doesn't know. And I think Hamilton addresses a lot of those flowers really intelligently, inappropriately. That's woke. It's woke, It is Woke is a play can be about a bunch of weight Exactly. Done through the lens of hip hop. You think that's gonna be a genre that explodes? I don't think anybody's ever gonna be able to do anything like that. But there will be attempts probably. Are you playing music? Still, what about not in Bay City? I'll play open mic nights out, wait to get my whole life is in sag. Every right Yeah. I mean, I work every single day. I don't have a fine, but this This is a way station for me, man. I don't know how that sounds terrible and conceited, but I'm here because my kids were here is a soon as they graduate. I'm fucking leaving. I'm never like I don't. I want to go somewhere where there's constant poverty and conflict and illness and just remain in that spot until that's my angle. It's all I've been working towards. I didn't know what it was until I found medicine to explain that process. I left the Marine Corps because I wanted to come home and be with my kids. I came home. I worked at herders music for about six or seven months fixing guitars. Um, and I didn't know what I walked like I literally come home like my parents hooked me up with an apartment and I was just trying to figure out the fuck I was gonna do with my life. So I go back to school, So I went to school, didn't work like I just I couldn't focus, You know, you're you're still feeling the heat. The happy that the weight of the subject matter you were dealing with No nothing to do with the subject matter. At that point. At this point, it was just being disassociated from the only life that I notice an adult. It was very hard leaving that because that was my idea. It was highly structured. It was highly strung out. You have no structure, right? And I was in charge of people like I had a purpose. Like I kept myself structure because I was responsible for others. And that's something that always had kind of kept me in mind, but, like, school didn't catch them. I fuckin got a job of assistant manager at WalMart, but I got it, and it was like, All right, the money is actually not bad. I was because of my resume and all of their leadership experience, like they were grooming me to take over the region and take over a district like I was gonna be making crazy good money with no education. And so I did it, and I was like, I think I could just deal with it. I can suck this up and just wait until I'm making for $500,000 a year in six or seven years from now, that's not that bad of a payout. And I literally Kirk would walk around my apartment every day when I get home and I would say out loud, I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. That was my mantra. And it was like that on my way to work. It was like that was at work on my way home, out loud. I was saying, I see when I was driving like I just fucking wish I was dead, man. Just allow, like nowhere. And then 10 minutes later, I just wish I was dead. I don't completely buy myself something. I It got to the point where it was so concerning to me, like I called my sister Ashley was my absolute person in this world, and we went toe launch, told like something's gotta give I don't know what the fuck's wrong with you, but I just feel completely disassociated with everybody and just like you got to do something different, like all right. So I quit my job without any fucking plan. I just quit. But you did have a support system of your parents and my parents and I make my family is the most supportive A group of people I've ever met in my life. It also helps that you have an excellent coping. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Huge. From the moment I came home, Stacy had been completely on board because there was times when I was, like, between a job where I wasn't making child support payments and she never fucking said anything. I mean, obviously, I've been making payments on I was in green, so she was making. And so when I got out, I immediately got a job When I was between jobs. After I quit Walmart, I didn't make two or three payments. And so the front of the court came after me and Stacy back for game. She went there and took care of it. She's a standup person. Kingdoms on me. Yeah, And then So, like I had an opportunity. My my brother has a very successful business, and he kind of gave me an opportunity to get into that. And I took it because again, I was like, All right, well, they're doing pretty well if I can. I worked my way through this. I could do pretty well for myself, too. And it was well, within my abilities to do right abilities and an interest in the same right. And I just fell apart. I couldn't like aided going to work. I couldn't get up in the morning. It wasn't like the quasi structure, because it's because I wasn't public service. I didn't know that at the time. It wasn't until my sister Andrea churned beyond, like becoming an e m T issues like you can go do this. It pays like shit. But eventually you become a paramedic, which pays a little bit better, and it opens up a lot of doors for you. If you do want to go back overseas and contract and do stuff as a paramedic you have available. And it was just like a fucking lightbulb. And so, like, I went through the process and started empty school and start working on the road was like, This is it. It's not because of the camaraderie or anything, because, frankly, he amassed a fucking nightmare. I have some very good friends within the organization I really value, but yeah, it was a blight turned on, and it's like, Okay, this is what I'm gonna do next. And so when I started the NT process and moved in the paramedic process, a friend of mine started talking about P a school we get. That was like another light went off. That's the route. Like, that's how I do this. That's how you get interested in finishing my undergrad so I can apply it from P a school. And that gives me the autonomy to run a clinic in Africa. I just need a doctor to let me operate underneath it's protocol. The doctors need to be alone because in that oversee wherever they need to be in the same country, so you could prescribe executive everything. So once you found you had to find a concrete goal. Yeah, that was gonna afford you with the lifestyle you wanted before. You could really go after something. Really? Yeah. It took me. I mean again, it took me three solid years of figuring out what the fuck I was gonna do. It was so helpless because I have this identity. I had this career. I had a trajectory. I had security. I had everything and I left. I did too. It's hard, right? Yeah, but I wouldn't wanna redo it. Neither would I. Not in a 1,000,000 years. I want to do it. It's like and I wouldn't give up the hardship. I know how first up you can say that you can, but secondly, the only reason you know all this stuff now is because of what you went through, right? Otherwise, you just be talking shit like so many people do in act like they don't want you talking. That's actually a very good point. Yes, I do hate people that tell me or like you hear the phrase like the grass isn't always greener. The phrase is always said by somebody that's never taken a risk, right? Yeah, that's just that's just their way of justifying their comfort, rather stagnation. And that's okay. It's fine. You, if you're interested in that, I'm not. That's fine, if that's how you wanna live your life, but the same way like I don't want your God pressed on me. Don't tell me not to make changes in my life because you're scared to make changes in your I saw this T shirt one time and said, Religion's a lot like your dick. It's fine. The have one. You could even be proud of me. I don't go shoving it down my kids throat. Right? I said right to that. Yeah, Aaron gentle a j. He's endorsed that one. Yeah, but it's true, though. Shoving your dick or your religion down. Anyone start a hard set of rules to follow. People seem completely incapable of following particularly people that are involved with the god thing. Yeah, yeah, the whole Catholic thing. Do you? I mean, I don't want to bring it up into a judge up what you lived in What your career was so heavily related. Related thio I'll abuse and shit is like, what? The child this thing I have a tough time with? Yeah, I am fiercely protective of my boys. The point where I've been diverse for 10 years of only reduce them to one woman. That's how you gonna get past that Or don't you care? I don't think I've ever getting past a d d d. Do you want somebody I thought that I did on Sometimes I still think that I do. And I like I have people in my life that I do genuinely care about I'm just not very good at it. I don't think I'm very good at it. Like I've wanted it. I've wanted it. Just I'm pretty selfish in the sense that I know what I want to do. I'm very set set of goals that I want to achieve, and I want to achieve those goals in the manner in which I want to achieve them. So if something doesn't fit into that box, I'm not able to give myself to it the appropriate way, and that's not fair to a lot of people. But don't you think you need to give up some of the control? I value relationships I love. I really like women quite a bit, and I value my relationship with him, I really do. But I just I don't think I'm very good for people in that sense right now. At this point in my life, maybe not really, ever just have a very good at that. But that's as honest as I could be, and I'm sure there's somebody is listening to this right now. They're gonna identify with what I'm saying. They've experienced being with me so and sometimes I solve sabotage those situations too. You know, I'll create a set of circumstances that benefits the end of the relationship without actually, although actively contributing to the end of it is that makes sense. Yeah, I'm almost, like setting myself up for a toe before it does, so I can justify when it happens. Yeah, I try to be as honest with you. Okay, so I want to share a few things here real quick. Okay? You gotta go to work, Which is crazy to me, because you should be doing that for job. D'oh! My goal right now is toe like master being a practitioner, that is cool. But it's just something I do. I like doing it. See you in a remote in Africa, where you set up a clinic, just place him retire for the Cohen didn't get famous. And it was like for you something. A lot of these people aren't famous till they're dead. So you got that? That's a good point. It. Plus, if you're counting your cocky and confident enough they on your deathbed, you'll probably believe in that. Passion is famous. Coming. I would hope so. Yeah, If it hasn't happened yet, I'm gonna be quite convinced that it's just about to happen. Like there is something to be said for the that spartan concept of, you know, you make your mark like your name you wanted toe ring on. And that sounds super cheesy. But I do that something. I genuinely believe it doesn't matter what the the endgame is the same as altruism. How's that? Because if even if you're doing it because you want your legacy, it doesn't matter cause you to get that you're doing good stuff. Well, hope you do. Well, no. Sometimes people get it twisted. But in your case, dude, you're you're committed yourself. You join the fucking Marines during the hottest war time since Vietnam. You practice law, essentially, you know, practice. Yeah, yeah, but I mean, you're highly involved in some heavy stuff helping people on both sides because everyone needs support, Right? You made dog shit money as a paramedic. Probably just so you could learn and get better. So that now you could be a physician's assistant. So your goal now is to go to physicians yet, But I have to finish my undergrad too, because I fucked off so much. Your But I can tell by looking at you, you're going to see to see this through? Yeah, there's no doubt about it. So you're gonna see this through, and then your goal is gonna be Your kids will be up and growing by then. Two goals to bring them with me. Bring them with you, man. You're gonna be You could be helping so many people. Yeah, that's the plan. And again, that's not altruistic. Like I want to help people, But I also want to be in conflict areas. And I want to be in Third World countries where it's shitty and terrible. I don't like being here. I don't like this. It's not fun for me like that. Sounds terrible to say. Like I don't take it for granted. I have a great family. I've been afforded so many opportunities. But I left a piece of me in Afghanistan not because of the war, but when I was there, I realized I don't ever want like amenities. It's fucking garbage. It gets in the way. The creature comforts are kind of bullshit. They are like I have them. I'm not saying I don't write, but I'm totally fine without you. Have all the tools to be whatever the fuck you too. But you're choosing not to be in the machine. I can't do it. And that's why you had a band called dressing machine. Obviously, it was just such a powerful statement against the establishment, but it kind of was right. Yeah, but that was at the heart of 25 years old. You think you're fucking Zach Della Rocca? He was 25 years, but Zach Della Rocca was the shit. We're okay, so I don't get out of here. I could do this all fucking day. And there's let's make sure it's not 15 years before we hang out again this time. Okay, but here's what we share in common men. We grew up in the same town on the same street. Yeah. What? The school? Together? We love Connor Oberst and his projects. Bright eyes desaparecidos. Just proceed as their first album is ridiculous. But that 1st 1 is like everything about my young Thanks way. Haven't you this conversation? Yeah, right. Absolutely. It's fucking good. I think you're gonna like it. Did you Do you like what we talked about? Are you talking to me or the people out there listening. Well, this is not interactive. I was a kid. I genuinely enjoyed that. Yeah, quite a bit. See, that's the thing. If you were just a musician, that made it at 20 all that shit that happened in the middle, which is where a lot of your stories are. What's wrong, Mike? My fun ones. Dude, thank you so much for coming. Yeah. Thanks for having me, man. I really enjoyed it. Let's do it again. Yeah, absolutely. Also, I'm planning a concert here. You get some, You just musicians together. I will be here in a heartbeat. Here. It's gonna be like the talk in the attic presents. And it's gonna be Joe gentlemen, obviously, if you'll play. Yeah, I've got the neighbor is an excellent Elektronik musician. There's a day that was taps, and there's a lot of musicians kind of group, and I would love to have it here. And just be fun. Sure, Absolutely. You know, what I'll do is I'll have everyone bring donation. That shield is distributed. Artist. Yeah, I'm totally Yeah. Yep. Fucking talk in the attic. Podcast presents Midtown Grand Rapids Music Festival. Our assumption is going to be here in the house and Aaron, General age. A general Precious sergeant D Call him what you want to. You're an interesting guy. Had such a fun conversation. Meetyou, man. Thank you. I really appreciate it. Thank you. Wow. Would you all think of that? That was a J gentle air and gentle precious. Sergeant G. What an interesting cat. And without further ado, here is Aaron. General, check out Soundcloud linked to his album. In the episode Notes A J played three original songs, all of which were fantastic as well. A cz two covers that he arranged himself from the Hamilton right. Me hit me up. Would you all think a J what you think of the interview? Is it all right? I think it's fucking awesome. Enjoy the tunes. Have a good weekend until next time. Peace out, everybody. Stacy accidents is song that I wrote for her Red After I got out of the Marines, Came back to me

spk_1:   1:26:19
Oh, wait. I have never really bands go Planet 16 doing ecstasy Now I'm here. Lately I have been thinking about right and all town. Wait. Here goes anyway. She floated through the door on a Friday night. Pink Care with the Grace Slick What Rabbit eyes? I thought Game over. I'm done about. I finish she. Two days later, we were cutting keys. She embodied advanced shirt to me. Now, staring down the bell of that shotgun wedding, I said, Baby, I will move you down south with Atticus Finch E. I will figure something out. I'll trade guitar picks for guns. It's the same song. Many other people stories mixed and, uh, at 20 wanna split time between Kabul and Jacksonville, North Carolina Way had a friend there. Hey, spends his time Poland Gainers off the high tops. How I wish I could rewind Thio and Rafferty Dylan One way got cut up in the store way now, staring down the barrel of a shotgun wedding on baby time, we span. It wasn't perfectly perfect, but oh, bye lives. They oscillate, frantic me in the same songs in the same stories, and it's the same. Songs are all the same story, and it's the same songs. Many other people stories mixed and too many phone calls. Too many phone calls just to may phone

spk_0:   1:30:13
that last time, which was about Stacy, this song so This is a sign that I wrote just kind of like what we just talked about his fires, like my inability to manage relationship and kind of like my pattern. That's kind of embarrassing to say out loud, but what I'm saying that this is a song I wrote this again three or four years ago. What I was still kind of in a writing jag

spk_1:   1:30:49
separate from the rest of us. No need penmanship, just scrawling on the basement snaps, pretending they don't exist. And there's no grace in it. It don't really matter if you don't believe in nothing. It don't really matter if you don't believe in nothing that way. Bar she stares so thoughtfully all I could think about all the things I'll do to her when I get her home. No, it's not what you think. I'm not talking about our bodies. I'm just talking about the way I'll fuck with their minds. Make her father make a break down. Make your breakdown because one that's never enough. I specialize in the three months stand, one that's never enough that specialize in the three months stand. One night's never enough return styles. Counting change. Yeah, fuck being center. Don't have your shit together to span the notion of scope because it doesn't exist in Sometimes it feels like some day it's a presidents of parcel. It's a carrot hanging on a rope just to keep me chastened just to get me home. Just get me home. One. That's never enough. I specialize in the three months stand one that's never enough. But I specialize in the three months stand one. That's never enough. Wait, what you are what you too. That's never enough but special last three months and one that's never enough specialized in three months time with All

spk_0:   1:33:26
right, So the last two sides they played were ones that I wrote. And, like we talked about my love of Hamilton earlier so nervously I'm gonna play the sign off of that. This is what we were attacked Both Washington at the Battle of Brooklyn washing the British. Come in. I'm looking for

spk_1:   1:33:49
gun out, man outnumbered out plans way Gotta make an outstanding young I'm gonna need All right hand, man. Check. It can be real a second for just a millisecond. Let's all my garden's other people how I feel a second I'm the model of a modern major general of the venerated Virginian veteran newsman. A line enough to put me on a pedestal, Right? Ladders, relatives embellishing my elegance and eloquence And elephant is in the room. The truth is in the face when they hear the British cannons go boom The only hopes as bleeding How can I keep leading when the people I'm leading keep retreating? We put a stop to the bleeding while the British Jake Brooklyn That takes rook. But look, we are outgunned out Man's of numbered. Out planned way Gotta make an all out stand A Oh, I'm gonna need a right hand man Way battering down the battery. Check the damages. I gotta stop him. And Robin have every advantage is let's take a stand with the stamina God has granted us Hamilton Bone Abandon ship! Let's steal their cannons! Boom cannons! Watch the blood in the shit spray! Boom! Go! The cannons were abandoned in Kips Bay. Boom! There's another ship! Blew my purse, Ellen Tipping me. Ever win the Halloween? Quick. We can't afford another slip. Guns and horses getting up, I decided. Divvy up! My forces skated, Strabo. British cut the scythe. Wait,

spk_0:   1:35:33
I'll point the second selling off. This is Let's talk about like Hamilton coming from the Caribbean and moving to the United States. And like trying not to throw away his opportunities. And again like this. Like it's a song again. Super Nerdy gets a show tune or whatever, but, like just going through my process like getting through school and everything becoming a paramedic, this lined up perfectly with that. So he just kind of assignment. I really like you.

spk_1:   1:36:11
I'm not throwing away my shot. I'm not throwing away my shot and yelling Just like my country. I'm young, scrappy and hungry and I'm not throwing away my shot. I'm gonna get a scholarship to King's College. Ah, probably should've brag, but Dag amaze and astonish. The problem is, I got a lot of brains with no polish. I got to be heard with every word. I drop knowledge. I'm a diamond in the rough a shine a piece of coal. China. Reach my goal. My power of speech unimpeachable only 19. But my mind is over. This. New York's industry is getting cold. I shoulder every bird, Never disadvantage. I've learned to manage. I don't have a gun. The branch of Water Street's family plan isn't defended sparks into a flame, but Jamie's getting talks. Let me yell out my name. I am the heir. Bx A and B E. R. We are meant to be a colony. The runs independently. Meanwhile, Britain keep shitting honest and asleep essentially the tax us relentlessly The cake George shows around about to spend in spring Never gonna set his descendants free. So there will be a revolution in the century. And to me, he says in parentheses. Don't be shocked When your history books mentioned me, I will lay down my life just to set us free. Eventually you see my ascendancy. I'm not throwing away my shot. I know away my shot. You're just like my country. I'm young, scrappy and hungry And I'm not throwing away my shot. My shon dream of life without monarchy The on rest of France would lead to anarchy. How you say anarchy what I find. I made the other side panicky with my shot number. Tailor's apprentice. I got shown nothing, has a local. Bireun says. I'm joining the rebellion to increase my chance to socially advance. Instead of someone some pains with my shot, you will never be truly free until those in bondage have the same rights as you and me. You would not die until a stallion of a stallion who put the first black battalion with my shot geniuses. Lower your voices. He stayed out of trouble. And you double your choices. I'm with you. But the situation is from you've got to be carefully talk. If you talk, you're gonna get shop. Bird. Check what we got, Mr Lumberyard. Hard rock. It plans a lot. I think your pants, The ones I like you a lot of touch. A plot blacker than the kettle calling the pot. What are the odds that God put us following spot? Just want a conventional wisdom, like it or not, A couple of revolutionary menu, fresh evolutionist, beginning positions. Show me where the ammunition isn't talking too loud. Sometimes I get overexcited. Shoot off the mountain. I've never had a friend before. I promise that I'll make your proud Let's get this guy in front of a crowd.

spk_0:   1:39:03
This is a really old song about this. And I was like, 24. It's kind of like my take on. Go to Catholic school.

spk_1:   1:39:20
Half lives given in your honor. Just park your car down on all of us the rest of the way Write more checks is to help kids Tell me, Friend yesterday I love my kids. We're gonna drink too much because I lost my God way Got a schoolgirl with child band. She made a choice. It's you Wait now just stranded on this training made paper training Made paper training like awards on the way Another war in your name.